99 Women That Should Be On Your Laminated ‘top 5 celebrity list’

Askmen.com has released their annual ’99 Most Desirable Women’ for 2011. I’m glad someone is finally agreeing with me (Mila Kunis came in at No.2) but she is definitely not the only hottie on this list. It includes many beautiful women, including a star of Mad Men, Oscar nominees, musicians, and number 1 goes to a young, rising star. Check out the list.

Ask Men.com\’s 99 Most Desirable Women of 2011

5. Miranda Kerr

4. Selita Ebanks

3. Sofia Vergara

2. Mila Kunis

1. Blake Lively

-Z. Alps

Advertisements

5 Reasons Why ‘Shamless’ Should Be Cancelled

So I don’t know if any of you have been watching the new Showtime series, ‘Shameless,’ but I had some high hopes, and maybe I was wrong to hold the bar so high, but it seemed to have all the right ingredients. A big time actor, a rising star, and a compelling storyline. Plus nowadays, channels like HBO and Showtime don’t usually belt out stinkers. Well, I could be wrong, and you may disagree, but in my opinion, ‘Shameless’ is shameful. Here are 5 reasons why.

5) Wasting William H. Macy’s talent

Not many people realize but William H. Macy is one of the greatest actors of his era. He has done great movies from Boogie Nights to Fargo to Thank You For Smoking among many others. He was one of the reasons why I was so excited about this show. But for the few scenes Macy has been featured in so far, he’s been drunk, rude, and reckless. Kind of a waste when you have such a big time actor headlining your new show. Oh, well.

4) Too Many Characters

Wait, that’s the son? No that’s the boyfriend who is neighbors with the daughter who was the sister of the mother who plays William H. Macy’s crazy girlfriend who has a daughter who is blowing the son who is gay, and there is an Indian with a white wife who steals cars and then an old lady comes with the daughter who loves her and one of them is black. What?

3) Too unrealistic

To be blunt, the show is just to unrealistic. I know there are plenty of families that struggle, and whose fathers have alcohol problems but we are supposed to believe that this is what those families lives are like? I know it’s a TV show but c’mon, I’m not buying it.

2) Way Too Much Penis

To quote one of my favorite comedians, Louis CK, “I don’t like to see too much penis, and I have seen about 40. Wow. That’s a lot actually. I’m 40 years old. That’s 1 penis per year. That’s a lot.” Well, I’m 21 and I don’t know how many non-porn related penises I have seen, but for arguments sake I’ll guess 3? Don’t ask me why. But I have now seen about 3 just from Shameless. Going back to Mr. CK, that’s 1 an episode. So by the time this series is over I’ll have seen like 50 penises. No thanks.

1) And the #1 reason why Shameless should be cancelled…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The only way I’ll still watch this show is if it turns out the main plot points to the show happen to be how this guy dies, and they show it in intricate detail. And it’s a brutal death. I don’t know your real name, but whoever you are, fuck you.

-Z. Alps

Scott Pilgrim really takes over the world

When the preview came out, I honestly thought this movie was a joke. I never really liked Michael Cera except for Superbad and some Jersey Shore commercials, but whether I liked him or not, I still didn’t think this movie had a chance. Trailer: SPVTW

I mean, can you blame me? But they always say not to judge a book by its’ cover, and that rings true with this one. I watched it the other night after having heard good things from people, so I had decided to give it a chance. Well, it was fantastic. It was basically like watching a video game come to life for a movie. And not Mortal Kombat, or anything like that. The imagery, dialogue, and entire plot was that of a video game, and a really good video game at that. Not only was this exciting and thrilling to watch, but it was like nothing I had ever seen. Michael Cera was also hilarious, as was Rory Culkin, yes Macaulay Culkin’s brother, and the whole cast worked great together. It was funny, entertaining, and had a good point. A huge surprise and a must see.

9.0/10

-Z. Alps


oh yeah jersey shore yeah

America’s favorite guidos head back to Jersey tonight in the debut of season 3 of MTV’s hit series. I’m a huge fan of the show even though I used to hate these type of people. I’m glad to see Angelina go and excited to meet the new cast member, Snooki’s friend. However, the main reason I watch the show is to see the antics of the guys, mainly The Situation and Pauly D, who I don’t care what anyone says, are two of the coolest guys on Earth.


I don’t understand why everyone hates on the show. No one is proclaiming these people as America’s scholars. They are just Italians from New Jersey who happen to be very entertaining. You mean to tell me if you were handed the opportunity to go to a really nice house, drink for free, and get paid to do it, you wouldn’t? Please. It’s good entertainment and there is no reason not to sit back and enjoy it. I can’t wait for tonight. It should be a drama filled season.

-Z. Alps

No Love For SNL

I haven’t watched Saturday Night Live in a few weeks, mainly because I always forget to DVR it but when I do, I am always quite entertained. Well this week, I will not be forgetting to hit record. Why?

Looks like Eminem and Lil Wayne

will be performing “No Love” as the musical guest.

 

 

 

 

A definite reason to watch. I’m happy to see Lil Wayne back getting face time after his stint in prison. Hosted by Jeff Bridges, it should be a great episode. Enjoy.

-Z. Alps

Mama Mila!

Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you that I will one day marry Mila Kunis. I’ve loved her ever since her role on That 70’s Show, to Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and can even look past her being the voice of Meg on Family Guy. So when I went to go see Black Swan, which had gotten rave reviews, I was expecting something great. For the most part, I was disappointed. Directed by Darren Aronofsky, who is the same man who directed one of my favorite movies, Requiem For A Dream, Aronofsky delivers with the same type of style. Unlike Requiem though, the message is not clearly presented and I found myself with a bewildered look on my face for most of the film. Natalie Portman was on screen the whole movie and each scene I was more and more turned off. The movie was a miss but one particular scene made it worth my $10. A loving exchange of saliva between Natalie Portman and the future Mrs. Alpirn, Mila.

Yeah, definitely worth my 10.

-Z. Alps

*on a related note, I love my girlfriend Courtney Rinehard and in no way shape or form do I plan on actually marrying Mila Kunis. I mean the chances of me meeting her are slim. I am not opposed to her replacing Natalie Portman in that picture though. Just saying.

A ‘Bloody’ Good Show

If you don’t think Dexter is the best show on television, then you don’t know television. Wrapping up its 5th season, and having already signed on for a 6th, Dexter once again kept fans on the edge of their seats. Julia Stiles doesn’t out do John Lithgow in Season 4, but (spoiler alert) her presence will be missed. I, among all of the other followers of the world’s most lovable serial killer are patiently waiting for Season 6.

from… http://www.fusedfilm.com/2010/12/dexter-season-5-finale-what-lies-ahead-for-season-6/

“Well, season 5 of “Dexter” has come to a close, and it was quite different from last season’s jaw-dropping finale.

There was an instance in the finale, though, that if it had happened, would have been a huge game-changer. Sara Colleton, one of the show’s exec. producers, says it may still be on the way.

When Colleton was asked by E’s Kristin dos Santos if Deb will ever find out about Dexter’s secret, she replied, “At some point that is an inevitable thing, and that will be an important season in Dexter’s history for that to happen.” I know that when Deb almost caught Dexter in the act during the finale, I almost had a heart attack. But the groundwork for Deb finding out Dexter’s secret has definitely been laid and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was to happen in season 6.

Speaking of season 6, Sara Colleton had this to share, “We will pick up exactly where we left off and we will stay true to Dexter and who he is at his core. It’s going to be a rueful, ironic but healed Dexter and where we go, it’ll be great because it’ll be wide open.”

Now, although Dexter didn’t exactly get his happy ending with Lumen, his character has clearly continued to grow. Dexter is much more like a “normal” human being now then he was when we first met him in season one. He’s started to feel genuine compassion for his son, Harrison, as well as Astor & Cody. Lumen, I believe, helped Dexter just as much as he helped her, because everyone’s favorite serial killer could have taken a much darker path had she not shown up.

As always, I’m looking forward to the next amazing season of this excellently written show and the magnificent performance Michael C. Hall continues to give as Dexter.”

-Z. Alps